Truth be told, I love the weather today.  I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed the cloudy, blustery, chilly fall weather until I was heading to my car for my lunch break.  The cool breeze brought a chill, and a smile warmed my heart.

There is just something special, calm, serene, and wonderful about the brisk autumn days where the sun is hiding and I have a strong urge to curl up on the couch with the window open, a hot cup of tea, and a nice book.  Someone to cuddle with would be the ultimate topper to the dream.

My husband and I brought home a 1991 Chevrolet truck today.  He had been talking about it for a while, and we worked out an amazing deal.

This evening, we went for a ride in it.  We sat, side by side, with small smiles on our faces, in a comfortable silence.

Then, he vocalized what I was thinking at that same moment, “This makes me feel like that song you love.”

He didn’t need to say which song, because I knew.  The song was “Power Windows” by Billy Falcon. I’ve loved it for years.

It hit me that I felt perfect sitting in this older gray pick-up truck, beside him.  He wore a t-shirt, flip-flops, jeans, and sunglasses.  I couldn’t imagine feeling anything but serene.  I was filled with overwhelming contentment and love.

The remarkable, yet unsurprising thing about it was that we were sharing the exact same thoughts and feelings, side by side.

I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.  And I could have stayed there all day, content and happy.

“Lewis drives a beat up ‘69 Dart.  Swears it’s the statue of Mary, keeps the car from falling apart.  With Gracie right beside him sitting closer than a smile.  She got her hand on his shoulder, he loves to drive and hold her.”  -Billy Falcon

I will admit, I was upset, angry even, that he was leaving on such short notice.  I found it hard to be supportive, because I was hurting.

And it all changed when he called on Saturday night to express his heart.  This time, the good tears flowed.

I couldn’t wait to see him, to have him hold me, to look into my eyes, and to feel his words come to life.  And they did.

There was a moment just hours ago where my heart lit up like a blazing fire, filled with the charge of emotion that has been dulled as of late.   He chose the perfect words, without inhibition, without my urge, without my hints.  He just knew. 

But it wasn’t a lie. It was truthful.  I saw it in his eyes, I felt it in his embrace.  I could sense it in his tears. 

The right words changed everything. 

I am excited beyond words at the prospect of the new possibilities and the portrait of the future we are about to paint together.

This past weekend brought Miss Best Friend to my home.  Miss Best Friend, or MBF as we abbreviate our name for each other, has been my best friend, basically uninterrupted, since 1991.  I only had one sibling then.  I’ve known her longer than three of my own siblings.

The weekend was wonderful.  It was fantastic to have her around me, just the two of us, uninterrupted by most things, for more than a few hours.  We spent much of the weekend just talking and relating, like we have for the last 18 years.  We also did some bridesmaid dress shopping for her wedding.  I’m the only bridesmaid, which makes it easy, especially when we’re both very similar in like and dislike dress-wise, so narrowing it down to a few selections was not difficult.  We also went for supper, wine tasting, lunch, and coffee, and just sat outside enjoying the fresh night air.

All in all, my favorite part of the weekend was just that we let ourselves be ourselves, were free, relaxed, without a real schedule, and enjoying our time together.

It’s amazing to me how so much time, we hadn’t seen each other since April, and distance, she lives about five hours away now, does not affect our relationship in a negative way.  Perhaps it makes us stronger.  Though I’d love to have her close in distance, it’s almost as if she’s always right beside me anyway.  Yes, that’s corny and sentimental, but it’s true.  Beyond my husband, there isn’t another person in this world who knows me better.  At least that’s what I assume.
I love you, MBF.

Like a loud bang.. it caught me off-guard.  The knowledge it was coming came almost too late, and my mind, my heart, my soul… did not have time to prepare.

I fought back tears.  I clenched my jaw.  I threw my head back against the the pillows.

He needed to go, for him. I understood that. I needed him to stay, for me.  He’s a warrior against the darkened loneliness.

I mustered the strength to embrace him once more.  I let the tears slip upon his shoulder.  We spoke our words, and he turned away.

The door closed gently, but it shattered the silence for just a moment.  A gun-shot against my heart’s still serenity.  I felt it shake me.   I sat back down.

I wait.  He’ll be home.  Not soon enough, but soon enough.